Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Decorah Eagle's Prey is Kathy Griffin

http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles




Every Man/ Bird To himself. SQUIRREL DOWN!! 
In this case Kathy Griffin being the Squirrel
Kathy Griffin dies after she tells a Tyler Perry Joke.
Tyler Perry had no comment, and really didn't care... just like the rest of American citizens....
Her remains were found on u-stream when the Decorah Eagles were eating her. 
#americaswinning


"Black comedy is all about all the dirty and semi-racist religious jokes."- Tyler Perry
^ I guess thats kinda like death if a white man/woman told a Tyler Perry joke. 
***too bad for kathy griffin(but no really.... i dont care and neither should you)

Monday, May 9, 2011

D.A.R.E.'s New Poster Boy 2011


"DONT DO DRUGS KIDS OR YOU'LL END UP ON CELEBRITY APPRENTICE!"

This Ad Goes Nationwide on June 2011's ZooBooks. 

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Lindsay Lohan the New Sarah Palin?: "Dont Call It a Comeback 2011"


Lindsay Lohan American Drunk Princess For Mayor of Wasilla, AK 2011.
"Lindsay's a great gal,  and she really knows about her vodka, which is good because Russians like vodka. Ya know we can see Russia from my house in Wasilla.  So its important to like vodka."- Sarah Palin during a red carpet event for her new hit series, "Palin's Alaska."

JUST IN: (R-AK) Lindsay Lohan vows upon her election bid, she will drill for more oil to cover costs for her new bill, "The Patron and Prescription Pills Act."

If elected Lindsay will become the second uneducated woman to become Mayor of Wasilla.

#americaswinning

Happy Mothers Day: USA STYLE

This picture is the sole-reason why I don't go to mothers day brunch at Perkins. Highly overweight moms and moms to be, ruins the brunch for everyone. Let me bitch here, this mothers day I went to Perkins, and I walk up to the dirty cheap buffet at Perkins to get my 1 dollar dessert, which actually is pretty good. (well from what i remember one night when i was drunk).  Anyways back to the point here... All the pie was gone from the buffet. And long behold I see this 400 pound woman next to me, chow down on her "several" pies. She was too heartless to share with me. I was truly amazing and disgusted how she was downing those pies, when I asked her "why did you take so many pies?" she mumbled real quickly that "they were gifts from herself for mothers day..." Good for you, but I was left pieless...bitch... I am sure the only mother she will be is to a double chicken burrito from Chipotle. But in the end who am I to judge? The mom to be and her 400 pounds beat me out to the last two pies left from the buffet, most americans consider this a nobel impressive act for her size because she didn't even use her scooter.

Remember: This should be a lesson learned for all Americans, Do Not Go To Perkins on Mothers Day.

Mariah Carey Gives Birth To Two American Bombshells

Within these past two weeks, gas prices have gone over 4 dollars a gallon, deadly tornados in the south have killed hundreds, and the worlds most dangerous terrorist and threat to the US was killed. But do we really care about all this?! HELL NO! But why not?! Because Mariah Carey and her washed up 15 year lookin' baby daddy and so called husband Nick Cannon gave birth to two blessed and talented multi-colored twins, (no credit to nick cannon with the talent). Now you be the judge of this?! Whats more american? Killing the asshole who killed thousands of US citizens or this lovely picture with Nick and Mariah? According to a some hicks down the street, the picture is certainly causing a stir in the small town in Hattiesburg, MS because that picture you see below is what they call "rape." I guess that is what Brett Farve's sister said when she popped out a different race baby to her racist cracked out husband. I know a little vulgar but deal with it, or start a protest you freedom of petition american..... Still love you all America!
#americaswinning 


God Bless the 15,000,000 people who has seen this picture. 

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Welcome To Americas Winning



We all know that America is the shit. That we are the home of EVERYTHING that is fucking awesome. If you don't BLEED the red,white, and blue, this website isn't for you. I am talkin' fried chicken, fireworks, and mcdonalds people. There has been claims that as a country we are failing, that our economy is getting worse, and we denied healthcare for all americans, but HEY!!! all y'all other folks don't know how much better we are than every single country. Like my man George "Dubs" Bush said, "They misunderestimated me", " Fish and Humans can Co-Exist!"  So to end this post, GO AMERICA!!! FUCK YEA!  

GOD BLESS THE BURGER, GOD BLESS AMERICA
#americaswinning